Annie’s eyes, when she heard the voice, were hazy.
—Come on, now!
Dania quickly ordered Annie one more time. Annie wasn’t aware of the situation, under Dania’s command, she pressed her hands on her tongue.
Dania didn’t miss this moment. No, she couldn’t miss it. This is the only girl who can hear her command.
There was no hesitation because it was a moment that she had been eagerly waiting for.
Squeezing all her strength, she bit her own tongue hard. Subsequently, a painful pain that was unbearable hit her.
Only then came a hazy smile dawned on Dania’s face, which had been expressionless all the time.
“Oh my god! Annie! What have you done….! No! Call the Saintess right now!”
Rachel, who belatedly realized Dania’s condition, screamed. Helen poured out her divine power to heal Dania, but it was useless. In order to prevent Dania from using her divine power, they tied her whole body on a leash that can hold off divine power.
Dania’s condition worsened beyond control. It didn’t take a long time.
In just a few seconds, Dania was completely stopped breathing.
Rahel sank to the floor with a puzzled look. Helen also stared blankly at Dana, trembling because didn’t know what to do.
Under their gaze, Dania cooled coldly on the cold prison floor.
A lonely and pitiful death.
It was the 14th death of the real saint who was thoroughly concealed.
I woke up to a voice calling my name.
As I blinked my eyes a couple of times to keep the blurry focus, the voice came closer.
“Daina? Are you all right?”
I turned my head slowly toward a voice that was resented by the deep in my heart.
The moment I saw her, my heart fell to the floor and crushed. It was the young Lavienne who called me Dania, an indescribable anger wound around my whole body.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was resurrected. I choked up with nausea.
“Dania, are you sick? Do you want me to take you to the treatment room?”
Lavienne looked very worried at me as she turned pale. The friendly and amiable appearance of Lavienne was quite different from the version of her in prison.
“Oh, no. I don’t feel well. Thank you for your concern, Miss Lavienne.”
I barely managed to open my lips to respond.
“Dania, I’m disappointed if you say call me that. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
I smiled bitterly at Lavienne’s words. At the same time, an old memory in prison came to my mind.
“Miss Lavienne! Please let me go! We’re friends! Yeah?”
“What? Ahahaha. Friend? Are you crazy? Am I supposed to be friends with something like you? Did you really think so? That’s stupid.”
“But-but … we’ve been friends—”
“Dania, listen carefully. I never thought of you as a friend for a single moment. How can you, an orphan, and I be friends? You and I live in different worlds.”
The appearance of Lavienne was all pretense. Now that I knew the true nature of Lavienne so well, I was just disgusted by her.
“You’re so weird today. Why don’t you tell the nun and take a rest?”
I didn’t want to interact with Lavienne if I can, but I forced myself to smile in order not to raise suspicion.
Looking around belatedly, it seemed like it’s time for the class to strengthen divine power. I could see the faces of the female candidates who had been training together as a child.
“I don’t know why Lady Lavienne even talks to such a girl.”
“I know. There’s a level even among the candidates.”
Even from far away, I heard them grumbling. But I turned away from them with a look that I had heard nothing.
[ Lavienne de Braons. ]
The only daughter of the Braons House that has produced the most female saints in history. Lavienne was the foremost among the Saints candidates, not only because of her noble origin, but also her divine abilities.
She was someone who was born with everything under God’s love. No one doubted that Lavienne would be the next saint. Everyone wanted her to be a saint for the peace and prosperity of the temple.
I did, too. Lavienne was once a kind person who paid attention to myself. the orphan.
I stopped thinking and stood up.
As I approached the nun who was watching another candidate, she frowned and turned her head.
“What’s the matter?”
“I have a bad headache, can I go get some medicine?”
“I told you, you don’t have talent, so you should try twice as hard as other candidates.”
“Puh. Go ahead.”
My heart throbbed in the eyes of Sister Laura, who was not happy to see me as if she saw a bug.
It was a familiar gaze to me, an orphan. Dania, whose divine power was ignored because of her origin.
I bowed silently and left the training room.
As soon as I came out into the empty hallway, my legs wobbled. It was because the tension was eased late.
I stood by the wall and took the breath I had endured all the time. When the sense of reality returned, I got angry.
‘I am alive again.’
I wanted to die, but I couldn’t. The world seemed to inculcate that it’s impossible to escape from Lavienne.
Every time I was captured by Lavienne and was put in prison, I had the same end, biting my tongue and dying. Without knowing the reason, I have been revived several times and repeated the same past.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my anger. I’ve learned enough from my past experience that nothing changes if I get angry.
All I could do now was go back to my room.
“I have to check the date.”
With a resigned look, I stepped heavily. Upon returning to my own room, I walked tightly from the door and locked it.
The room I haven’t seen in a long time was still small and narrow. As one of the remaining rooms in the temple, it seemed as if it was about to collapse.
Nevertheless, it was the only sanctuary given to me. All I had throughout my life was this room.
I stopped looking around the room and approached the desk. The only drawer contained a diary that I had used every day. My small hand carefully flipped the diary. The page that was turned over quickly stops at the place where the last letter was written.
Radoanian calendar, August 4th, year 381.
For the first time, my eyes, who weren’t panicked even when I saw Lavienne, shook.
It was because the date in my diary was not what I expected.
The return that I had gone through so far was the same. In 382, onApril, when I was 13, it was always the same year, the same month. There was no time to run away from the temple because I returned when the former saint was about to die.
However, this time, it was a year earlier.
The only thing that has been repeated countless times is different this time.
‘Is something different?’
I grabbed my diary tightly. My expression did not change, but my lips were slightly trembling.
Perhaps this is the last return, a little hope was about to rise in me.
But I shook my head. I’ve been looking forward to it so far, and I’ve had to despair as much as I expected. I didn’t want to feel that feeling again.
‘Don’t expect anything stupid.’
It was better not to expect it in the first place.
I leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling. There was no lamp, so I was sad because the dark ceiling looked exactly like me.
I felt a bit relieved when I cried, but my tears refused to fall. I cried so much that it had dried up.
“What did I do so wrong?”
My self-help adjustment was made.
I am Daina who was still 12 years old the outside. That was a dark, gloomy voice that made me feel uneasy.
After staring blankly at the ceiling for a long time, I clenched my fist as if I had made up my mind. Then, I left the room with a stiff face.
The place where I headed was a temple dedicated to the Goddess. At the moment the temple was empty. Even the priests who kept the entrance thoroughly for some reason had been absent.
The temple is a place where only permitted persons can enter and leave. It is a place where I cannot enter as a junior-level candidate Dania.
In the past, I kept the taboo of the temple strictly because I was afraid of being punished by the God.
However, I was not afraid of the temple’s taboos anymore. God did not respond, even to me, who was her saint.
The expressionless me approached the Goddess’ statue at a rapid pace. As the statue reached a well-visible position, I looked up at the statue.
The statue of the Goddess standing tall in a noble manner.
I stared at the statue with empty eyes, unable to feel alive. The long-forgotten emotions have filled my heart with pain.
“I just liked being here….”
I, an orphan, entered the temple when I was five years old. Until then, I lived my life mixed with beggars. It was my daily routine to get snagged. Then, I accidentally caught the eye of the priest.
Recognizing that I had divine power, the priest bought me at a low price and brought me to the temple. The people of the temple were not kind to me, but I was grateful to have a place to stay. Every day was fun.
However, I lost everything because I gained the saint’s power by chance.
“Why was I born?”
I was not loved by anyone. I was betrayed by everyone who I gave my heart to.
Lavienne, whom I cherished, the nuns and priests I respected, and Khalid I liked.
After repeating my numerous revival, I realized that I was a cursed being, a being that should not be in the world.
If I had to live like this, it was better not to be born into the world.
“I want to stop.”
I didn’t want to be used anymore. Even though living for Lavienne is my fixed destiny.
However, the situation was not very hopeful for me.
I had tried numerous self-inflicted attempts to kill myself, but failed. If I tried to harm myself after returning, i was healed immediately and could not die. No, rather than healing, the body seemed to have changed so that it couldn’t kill itself. I was only able to do self-harm when I was being locked up in the prison and tied to a magical tool that blocked my divine power.
I couldn’t even try to get killed by someone else, not by myself.
It was because the period I returned to was always a period when outsiders were blocked, and murder was prohibited for people inside the temple.
“You can’t go out of the temple….”This chapter was originally shared via N0/vel/Biin.
Even though I had a year’s worth of time, my origin was a problem. Orphans were forbidden to leave the temple before reaching adulthood. It was in the name of protecting the temple’s property.
I, who had been pondering for a long time, raised my head. My dark expression had brightened up a little.
“There’s a celebration coming soon!”